Straight into Insanity

New Year, Same Jaeger

2009-01-20T06:57:00.000-08:00

note: the following comment takes up more lines of text than the entirety of most people's scorecards.

misunderestimated line - broken "trailside v7". FA after break [then, silven a few minutes later] and it deserves a name since the beta is substantially different than before it broke. if the original FAist wants to give a real name, i'd be psyched. three star movement [maybe more w/ silven's beta] but minus for lowballery. i wouldn't mind if folks think this is v8, but it was certainly harder than cashmere sleeper and i was arguably close to sending infinite in a 15 minute blitz afterwards, which didn't feel lightyears harder. anyway, i bet that jemerson would call it v11+, but he will probably be too scared to try it because failure could risk being outed as a mere child in the land of men. after the send, braveheart asked for my autograph and an eldo stray asked me to sign her boobs [all 6] because i exuded manliness so much. flanface will flash, setting the bar for the lionesses

a particular wtf directed toward 'lionesses.' really, wtf?

more to come...

More cloning evidence

2008-12-18T11:42:00.000-08:00

" 'out of bedlam' represents the act of letting your crazy out to do as it will, for better or worse."

"Letting your crazy out"? and by crazy did you mean clones?

More to come...

Jaegerclone Lifecycle

2008-12-13T17:05:00.000-08:00

The following pictures were taken in the wild and document several Jaegerclones at various stages of their lifecycles. Many Bothans died bringing us this information.

2008-12-10T13:11:00.000-08:00

Here is a recent post from one of the Jaegerclones blogs

" Peter Beal said...
Unless you give me access, I will create a sockhands fansite that leaves no doubt that "someone so ridiculous online or in his free time can actually take his job very seriously and care about the work product provided to his clients."

good idea...

V7

2008-12-08T19:03:00.000-08:00

Here is a list of every V7 the Jaegerclones have climbed. Note the comment of the very first one.
08/11/23
unknown 1
Poudre Canyon / greyrock roadside

left and low side of roof from jug, not using undercling crack, and long lock to crimps...hard for me. rmnp-like climbing. rock very similar to 'the big flip' at wild basin, which is NOT like the wild basin boulder
**
08/11/22
shortwalker
Poudre Canyon

PREEMPTIVE STRIKE: KISS MY ASS JEMERSON! contrived start of 'official' line is shortie killer. started on the obvious pinch jug w/ RH and LH lower. extremely fun and worthy from pinch start w/o any height dependent moves that i believe is a much more obvious beginning of this problem and a start that many folks can enjoy without the retardation of the "official" start. in project righteous indignation, cheating produces no guilt.
***
08/10/19
old balls
Newlin

the higher start to hayden's new technical hole that he agreed to consider valid to appease the old and rickety crowd... not a great looker, but very cool moves
**
08/10/19
signs of struggle
Newlin
FA
the killa beez project, but started w/ small left hand crimp right next and undercling rather than matched on undercling.... it's a height thing... this start was too funky for the tall, the match was too streatched out for the me/midget. i anticipate that shorties will use my start and lanky bitches will use the more obvious matched start that hayden was close to, though he couldn't establish on the wall from my start. much ado...
**
08/10/18
7 dollar crack rock
RMNP / upper

little cave line on back side of large block immediately uphill from dead raccoon block... starts deep and finishes through a burly little layback crack system. chorvat's line.
*
08/10/15
Santos on Mom's Command
Flagstaff

the most direct exit to stranger than friction, but still awkward, so still a tad less classy than pulp friction. easier?
***
08/10/15
Doctrine of Equivalents
Flagstaff

stranger than friction, but w/ bit of lip traversing to top out on jugs... the best top out version to the betterment of the entire line; bit scary in the dark. easier?
***
08/10/12
the big flip
RMNP / wild basin / finch lake trail parking

about 60 yards diagonally right of the parking for what i think was the finch lake trail. might be v7ish or 6ish.. my radar is off. pit stop while playing sightseeing guide for mom. was dry on the overhung face despite 2in of snow... wet jugs to top out. jug sds > huge high foot to stab to dual slot pockets [crux] then diagonally up great incuts. spectacular line, but must be a bit weary of some holds. r.fields line.
***
08/10/04
man of constant sorrow
Mt. Evans / b

cool compression bulge climbing, but sharp stone just down from futurama/deathclause
*
08/10/04
wayne manor
Mt. Evans / b

big move from crips above a poor landing on proj bldr further up from hume bldr. clean, but sharp... straightforward; maybe 6, but it is a difficult crux move
**
08/09/27
pinch overhang dyno
Horsetooth

establish on wall and dyno instead of traditional jump start... told v7 and seems fair. a VERY classic boulder problem this way. very happy to finally do this one despite the blazing heat... kinda made up for "progress" but essential ass-kicking by moon arete at 7:45am.
***
08/09/15
battaglia's bottom
Flagstaff

contrived, but good, fierce moves. tried hard, but on coffee v. dayquil headfunk, so v?
*
08/09/14
finger on the steel [sds]
Newlin
FA
after nearly breaking my face when breaking low left sidepull... up to fatty sloping right sidepull first from sds rail, then up. killabeez.
*
08/09/13
holywood cole
Newlin
FA
was the full pineapple express traverse proj., but that's just my interpretation. of the situation.
**
08/09/13
rahula
Newlin

fantastic hayden line.
***
08/09/13
nick and austin's trailside sloper line
Newlin

wicked lowball w/ immaculate rock... slam dunk move from the heel/hand rail makes it sevenish... told v4-9.
***
08/09/06
logical terminus
RMNP

potato chip extension, as per silven. pumpy but good fun.
**
08/08/24
freaky friday 7B,7B+
RMNP

[end of freaks of the industry from low start] cool first two moves, then tick tack doom. thanks to jemerson for move-by-move beta for chalkless and sun-slick finish crimps.
*
08/08/23
next to nothing sds
Mt. Evans
FA
the real start from a low crimp and higher pinch crimp on left facing diagonal rail. start w/ heel hook above right hand and cross over to higher start hold. very unique move, but many will hate, hence the other start. i enjoyed it. YES I EXPLODOMACATED the start hold of SALAD TOSS and robbed myself of the send. phil later did all the crux moves into equitos from the heinous left-over sloper start, but had to drop off equitos due to rain soak above, so, it still goes.
**
08/08/10
toe to toe 7B,7B+
Flatirons / satellites

very fun and classy mini roof line; a great addition for certain. v? southern kids said hard 7 and it was a bit easier than turning point, which i repeated to check. i suppose it comes down to the right heel hook so shoes may make a huge difference? in any event, very psyched about it.
***
08/07/27
chuck's slab
Guanella pass

very thin crimp start and stab to slimpers. did two ways; original beta solid at 7. on maybe the third block into the main area, facing upcanyon.
*
08/07/27
ninja pony - shorty
Guanella pass

way harder for the shorties. i did it two ways... the go-again is v5, but the left hand cross through beta makes it solid at 7, i think.
*
08/07/19
the toolshed
RMNP

the spark for my day's psych
**
08/06/29
little ruffian
RMNP / wild basin
FA
retarded, yet fun and powerful mini cave
*
08/06/29
tj's heel hook problem
RMNP / wild basin

lefter sds. burly to committing mantle
**
08/06/22
the rapier
Mt. Evans / A, zorro boulder

6/21 start sitting on pedestel rock as for 'zorro' on too low holds, pop up to matched thin crimps and dyno sideways right to 'zorro arete' and finish. could't do it a couple years ago so v?
**
08/06/06
gap right 7A+,7B
Castlewood

from sds of standard, few traversing moves to burly sloping crimper match. if i'm climbing "well" or "strong" lately, this is at LEAST v7 despite temps and drunkkoredness. wasn't THAT hot. three stars for c-wood standards.
***
08/05/28
deep in dis-pear / minute bus
Castlewood / font

immediately downhill from bloodsport cave... evil little turd that seriously felt v9 to me. an old tj/celo/calrusso novelty. would be three stars if not so short and tweaky.
*
08/05/17
t-bone arete 7B,7B+
Poudre Canyon

evil nasty till the beta was sorted out, then fun [though a turd]
**
08/05/15
the keymaster
Clear Creek Canyon
Second GO
looks dumpy and contrived, but the movement is fairly wicked.
**
08/05/12
peasants into leaders 7A+,7B
Mt. Evans
Second GO
amazing highball with snow building up the landing for confidence... psyched on this. ander crush too
***
08/05/11
too many mind
Newlin
FA
nick's burly direct rig on pineapple block...terror slab could use more cleaning...big thanks to nick for streaming topout beta...saved my ass!

08/05/11
the orange wall
Newlin

super crazy jump beta... nick's satellite line that he crushed right after rylan. gave me some real grief.

08/05/07
gerbil [sds]
Castle wood / punani/creekbed

from matched on horizontal rail. techy wierd moves. celo's so close to his project!
**
08/05/07
gerbil [sds]
Castle wood / punani/creekbed

from matched on horizontal rail. techy wierd moves. celo's so close to his project!
**
08/05/04
rasta drop
Poudre Canyon

great surprise for the morning, horrid warmup. very compelling line and on my mind for a long while.

08/05/03
the great gumby
Newlin

hayden version took a real effort from me. haydenbagged? a better start to it, i think. looks nothing like it, but first move FEELS like fingerhut in motion and burl of stick
***
08/05/03
the downward spiral
Newlin

sit start as for ambithadahahaha, trav, finish finger on the steel. the sds to finger is not bad, but lame and will explode. have fun.
**
08/04/29
name pending
Castlewood / 9 lives boulder

first try, but did top once on tr when chaling holds. blunt tall arete on the left side of the 9 lives boulder.... name pending...cam cross/jason tarry line.. moves better than it looks... supposedly harder than double d dyno and folks had trouble with this compared to that, so ??
**
08/04/26
walk softly
Newlin
FA
aka wall of destiny project. excellent FA session w/ rylan, gatzke, and ander.
***
08/04/26
livin' on a prayer
Newlin

third ascent. a surprise. new beta; perfect temps.
***
08/04/26
last caress
Newlin
FA
traverse from finger on the steel through ambitatadahahahattatatat
**
08/04/20
pocket full of shenanagans
Castlewood / font

beer goggles like woah and it was STILL ugly! left, easier sit start of the bulge, traverse left and finish w/ pocket full of hate = the most unnecessary climb evar? frustrating session at millennium a few hours prior, but saw chuck repeat everything and met a nice foreign couple.

08/04/06
headbanger standard
Elevenmile / 11 mile canyon / spray cave

start deep in dihedral, traverse right side as for arete/prow version, but continue traversing right into some powerful moves at the corner to top out. seemed difficult for seven, but easier than tojo's original headbanger variation which does not use the huge foot ledge to the right and matches the gaston crimp to blast up. i couldn't smell it that way!
**
08/04/05
skywalker
Walker ranch

would be even better if you couldn't skip the crux by traversing in... good stone and good moves to sloping tall top out. i freaked out on the "it's OVER" top out. had to do evil crimpy lockoffs to do the bottom crux moves and could never use the 'good' hold due to height. ego crusher!
***
08/03/01
pinch arete [sds]
Elevenmile / murray boulders
Hard
compression with insane granite pinch to tall-ish and a bit insecure layback arete
***
08/02/10
deuto's traverse
Castlewood / inner-canyon / crystal method

3 days hard! guidebook v5 maybe appropriate for big wingspan folks, but honestly felt v8ish... had to give it my all! great finish to an early frigid recon session and hiking w/ my dad.
*
07/12/09
after berthoud [var.]
Castlewood

high 50s in the cave despite 20 even at parking lot! climb starting at left side of berthoud cave, ~6ft back under roof on horizontal jug, use the kneebar to come out of the first roof section, huge hantavirus huecos are off as per samet, climb out center of bathtub w/ big lockoff from good undercling and dynamic fall into another undercling before going up. a reminder: stars given for movement, irrespective of diminutive stature or heinous choss, which are both the case here.
**
07/11/11
finger on the steel
newlin

epic battle for me on wall of dispair. tj, hayden, and chuck pissed all over it, but i could not get to a key gaston and had to deadpoint off of heinous shit. felt as or more difficult than formula 50 to me. maybe i'll call mine an eliminate varition and take 15 points? felt good to finally snag the deadpoint though... totally invested in the move and loving climbing, epitomized.
**
07/11/03
the great gatzke [after break]
newlin

about the same difficulty as before and similar moves... techy balance was replaced with thug style... still fun. thanks for the great spots on my dynamic beta for the to [ander, hayden, jt, rich] hayden did a spooky high heel, low hand lockoff that i wanted to do but couldn't articulate the ankle in the brace to do. not sure which would be easier or less scary beta...
***
07/10/28
everbody's a victim
newlin

second ascent. very cool movement on this chuck traverse into 'little voice...' chossy in middle. one insane crux move and tons of fun moves = the hardest effort i've put forth at newlin. grade to be determined. coulda just been fatigued, but crux move is substantially more difficult than any one move on the nickness or otherwise
**
07/10/26
right guard
newlin
FA
old guard sds, rightward traverse on comfy incuts to juggy right arete line. good for a consolation prize or warm-down.

07/10/26
uncivilized
newlin
FA
sds arete L of old guard. very interesting and clutch explosion to lip jug from bunchyballofdoom position. chuckles actually had to try it a few times after flashing old guard sds. great day of inspired efforts. ugly duckling that needs more cleaning. again, great crux move, though.

07/10/26
two minutes for roughing
newlin
FA
short burly rig to underclings left of uncivilized, left of downclimb... was definitely clean when we 'found it', but necessary left hand hold exploded as soon as i weighted it... then did it again on a second effort... despite being clean, it does not seem to have been done due to exfoliation and boobytrapped explodopop holds. interesting power move, but very poor rock. could be six, but felt very powerful at the time.

07/10/20
the old guard [sds]
newlin

the sit moves made this soooo much harder for me than the stand! very worthy problem, just hope the stand start incut flake sticks around for the long-term... then, pavol-funded la casita victory birfday binge! nick/rick close on arete project! I USE EXCLAMATION POINTS !!!!!!! oh, and these lines are good, but in no way worth the drive and horrible hike. i will never go back ever ever to this pile of crap

07/10/13
megalodon
newlin

fully committed boot of doom ascent. [2nd ascent]. thanks byron! four star line. repeated a handful of times w/o boot subsequently and still satisfies. the best line of this area by far.
***
07/10/13
three barrel haai
newlin
FA
had to climb in new brace w/o boot of doom. committed! whatever. kinda lame. slightly traversing line left of megladon. we cleaned the hell out of it because of rampant choss. why is it that the weather sucks here every time i visit. eff this place.
*
07/10/13
the great gatzke
newlin
FA
gatzke cleaned this arete up. fun...if you think playing w/ turds is fun, idiot! you disgust me. i might just stop climbing alltogether.
*
07/10/13
the old guard
newlin

first known ascent. gatzke took out the dried flotsum from the creek overflow to reveal this one. he shoulda left it covered! i want my gas money back, colo springs effers. weird run-in with a frothing raccoon. that's the fourth one since i stared coming here. rabies or plague? i've got $5 bucks riding on it w/ byron. still won't get my gas money back.
*
07/09/24
smoke signals
elevenmile / 11 mile

BoD ascent. dyno from start to crystal sloper in seam and campus. fun to do, but short and grinds your skin like mad. prolly solid 7, but could be harder?; didn't get to try good beta before break to know if grade changed at all.
*
07/09/22
moped
rampart

moped: cause it's really fun, but you don't want anyone to see you on it! ha! could be easier, but took me many tries w/o any necessary left foot moves to blame. eliott crushed his sketchy slab and tall oppositional crack problem![immobilization boot/"Boot of Doom"/BoD ascent]
*
07/08/19
la reve de wills
RMNP / chaos

racing the rain. good mix of tech and thug styles. v?
**
07/08/18
wide-eyed maybe
hevans
FA
low start to blue eyed baby...awkward low start that traverses a few tense crimpy moves from the left. detracts stars from orig. line!
*
07/08/11
seams traverse
Montezuma

light granite slashface as you near the hummingbirds. bomber stone despite generally friable and dirty nature of the boulders in the area. fun, yet completely frustrating day at a new zone. then, rained out of evans on sunday before ever getting on the rock. urrgggghhh!
***
07/08/04
chocolate croissant 7A+,7B,7B+,7C
Mt. Evans

st: LH horizontal crimp, RH low sloper pinch.
*
07/08/04
chocolate croissant [sds]
Mt. Evans

got schooled earlier then one shot on the hike out for the day. tj crushed the SA of 'the last dance'!!
*
07/07/29
velvet revolver
g-pass / doublewide
Hard
powerful moves off thin sharp laser cut doom.
**
07/07/29
50lb mountain bike [lowest start]
g-pass

st: LH jug sidepull RH on foot hold... powerful stab and lockoff
**
07/07/28
feisty / animal [celo/tj ver.]
Clear Creek Canyon / sayersville

tj's start matched on undercling where dw started w/ RH. maybe still 8ish, but tad easier than other version b/c you go to the first edge RH. this one is closer to celo's original beta for this line, minus low moves off detached block. then, went to evans b and got schooled on gorillas AGAIN in the mist/humidity. RAGE!
***
07/07/21
mr. whimpy [sds] 7B,7B+7B,7B+
RMNP / emerald

rehab/no boot day 1. v? sit start on obvious horizontal ledge system right of the dihedral section of the kind and kind trav starts. three star movement, but contrived. chorvat and kev.brown had awesome first days!
**
07/07/21
low traverse into the kind
RMNP / emerald

rehab/no boot day 1. very hard for me; lower quality than the higher traverse into the kind. this low traverse negates some of the kind's stars. got killed on the kind traverse, but mcbrike is killing IT.
**
07/06/16
gimpshaw traverse
garden of the gods / snake pit

gimpmode squad reprazent! obvious start on jugs at first prow-like feature. traverse left staying low on crimps but using all feet until busting up to slopers and pocket before dropping low again for finish at arete. this is the second 2/3rds of dm's "crenshaw traverse." for me, same effort as i put forth for whispers. felt HARD. could easily be v7 w/ two feet; byron quoted v6.
**
07/06/09
i love dick 7A+,7B
camp dick
Second GO
a pretty good line. ravaged ankle send. couldn't push w/ left foot to do lower crack start.
***
07/05/22
CJoelMD
morrison

joel g's static version of cjmd using a right heel on the rail to lock off to RH crimps and the finish jug. could be morrison v6? opens up many possibilities for links, as usual
***
07/05/22
pork tendoLoin
morrison

pork soda start into reverse tendo [to "horn" = triangular block above bad landing]
***
07/05/20
immortality 7A+,7B
red cliff / klutergarden

a worthy #1 objective for the day. did it 3x for rockymountainhighball.com and tried 100% every time.
***
07/05/20
romeo 7A+,7B
red cliff / aircraft carrier

burly little rig. just left of star crossed... proper start: LH on blocky sidepull, RH on low sloping edge/pinch/nothingness. told 8, could be? three stars but for migitude.
**
07/05/20
cool arete 7A+,7B
red cliff / aircraft carrier
Second GO
proper mid sds [not jj invention]: LH lowest arete hold, RH on sloper rail. [traversing sds from right was quoted at 10]. great tension line requiring burl and sequential movement, but death choss finish detracts a star.
**
07/05/13
just a slow plush ride
flatirons / terrains

contrived traverse: start as for meatwhistle stay low on rail, bust plush moves to sloper pod, continue traversing right through sloping crimps w/ bomber feet; top out at shallow dihedral at the right of the wall. just cuz. was really psyched on bob boulder but big black bear wasn't psyched on our session or being barked at by kai.
*
07/05/12
geiman in a blender
newlin

great moves on this contrived hayden var. maybe v6, but hm's opinion gives me pause.
***
07/05/12
alarm clock awakening
newlin
FA
leftward variation of warm up roof. was very clutch for me, but could be easy in the cold or when heart not ready to explode? i enjoyed the moves; many would call it a pile.
**
07/05/06
stinky ass 6C,7A,7A+,7B,7B+
priest draw
Hard
so friggin clutch and burly for me. my eyes must have spurted blood twice.
***
07/05/05
puffer fish / pufferfish
priest draw
Second GO
two tries from the retarded skirt start. upper moves are well worth the detriment of the beginning.
***
07/05/05
captain insane-o-head
priest draw
Hard
dyno left of she lives. more about hanging on to the rocket-blender swing of doom than jumping. sent right after snow squall. situner so close!
***
07/05/05
meat eater / meateater
priest draw
Hard
interesting tension climbing. 3/4ths of carnivore, then bails out left to exit. the big move on carnivore was not happening on link. bummed. strangely frigid day, despite actual temp.
***
07/05/02
pointless 7A+,7B
morrison

finished it properly this time...doesn't add anything to the way i did it before... getting psyched on training links and contrivances again OH NO !!!111111122
**
07/04/29
going down swinging
vedauwoo / wrinkled rocks
FA
st: hip level RH undercling + LH evil high gaston in crack, burly match, and slap couple times left before stabbing jug and doing funky mantle. needs more cleaning up top and it'll be nice... can cheat start RH in high hold as sidepull/undercling, but makes it much easier. salo SA.
**
07/04/28
whispers arete
RMNP / emerald lake

really cool holds and worth a spin. tops out by trending left into whispers top out.
**
07/04/25
point and twist
morrison

pointless into mctwist as finish. felt harder, but i'm lame. fun beer sesh w/ salo, chuck, diggs, matt, pavlov, and annette.
**
07/04/21
chips
Joe's Valley

fun moves but takes a very indirect line. didn't try the left problem. the direct version of chips felt burly and cool. chuck flashed it.
**
07/04/15
velociraptor
flatirons

looks one star, climbs three. st: RH undercling, LH sidepull.
***
07/04/14
locked and loaded
flatirons

first known ascent. bad landing lowball one left of spring loaded. hard lockoff/deadpoint short guy crux to bunchy high foot tension tall guy crux = equitable. could be v8.
**
07/04/14
rennak's delight
flatirons

four star if start holds were at head height. dirt burgler w/ really fun moves and evil mantle. given 8, but felt the same as all the other 7s sent this weekend...???
***
07/04/14
pterodactyl
flatirons

looks v2 but was as hard for me as rennak's
*
07/04/14
ain't no layup
flatirons

eliott's insanely perfect static beta. climbs way better than it looks.
**
07/04/14
bulge boulder traverse [sds]
flatirons

sds as for born defeated sds and trav to the seam and around to finish on the far left v2
**
07/04/14
velocity dyno [mid]
flatirons

st: LH on shoulder height sidepull and RH on arete crimp 2ft below regular starting holds. adds a burl move and a half. sds seems ridiculous now, but can definitely go.
**
07/04/10
retar-ted traverse
castlewood

climb mini roof left of ted's cave, eliminating both aretes for your hands, at the lip cross over to the holds of ted's hole and traverse ted's hole normally through it's crux and finish. just playing around. negative three stars.

07/04/08
chained heat [sds]
buena vista

four stars from the normal start but for the pain factor. sit added a noticable bit of strain and pump for the dino.
***
07/04/01
hillside strangler [temporary adoptive name]
red feather lakes / swoosh

ben couldn't remember the name so i took liberties here. end of trip. funky squeeze moves. steals core.
**
07/04/01
treachery
red feather lakes / the refuge
FA
great boulder perched above great camping cove first discovered by minnesota colin. this is the crack problem that isn't. powerful, then balancy.
***
07/03/31
hurricane ivan 6C,7B
red feather lakes / swoosh area

bit of hard crimping. perhaps 6.
***
07/03/17
the wind below
Joe's Valley

watched internet vids for 6 months and was somewhat psyched. just a bit. luck o the irish. sneel and tj flashed as well. litz walked trent's mom and beyond life. he's back on the wagon and enjoying hisself.
***
07/03/17
feels like grit
Joe's Valley

techy and beta intensive for me. hideous warm up. the beginning of my bonk in the morning of day one which lasted for the whole hot temps trip [piling on the excuses here]
**
07/01/14
pointless [var] / zero impact
morrison

st: orig helicopter/kneebars of otis... trav through and up breshers'. drop down move at copter and short guy bumps very burly for me... felt solid, but could be easier for lanky fools? big toe still not fully thawed after 14 hours and 2 hot showers. SO COOLLLLDDDD. ...i guess pointless is supposed to end up 'airport' slopers.
**
07/01/14
reduced impact
morrison

point of impact,but starting at matched undercling and using horrible slot crimp on first move instead of triangle pinch or sidepull. 9degrees.
**
06/11/26
toucan
red feather lakes - ceremonies
Second GO
really great rfl line... crimpy steep swing move to perfect jug.
***
06/11/26
dootie free / ben's crumblewood lowball roof simul
red feather lakes - ceremonies

boulder uphill a bit before the ceremonies parking at the road block...other cool lines, but lots o guano
*
06/11/26
in the meantime
red feather lakes - ceremonies
FA
crimpy semi-substantial belly just up from pinhead. first known ascent, but ben cleaned it a while back. could be easier, but harder than pinhead due to crimp campus/lockoffs
**
06/11/26
crimp eliminate - lunge of fun
red feather lakes - ceremonies

hard for me. v? eliminate that uses thin crimps to climb to apex of lip. many tries.
*
06/11/25
tractor beam
Poudre Canyon

new talus line w/ great moves
***
06/11/19
wonderland roof
castlewood - wonderland

first known ascent. adjacent bldr to wonderland bldr. way burly tension moves. 8? dirty and hard to tell.
*
06/10/22
little debbie arete
carter lake

good tension. celo beta. satisfying.
***
06/10/22
doughboy / dough boy
carter lake

'lower' start. very skin friendly highball w/ consistent tension all the way.
***
06/10/22
doughface
carter lake

hideously painful at end of day. climbs center of tallest face until highest vertical seam, then left to jug and roll around cheater finish to safety.
*
06/10/14
dulcinea 7A+,7B
flatirons

looks dirty, but climbs so well. a tall classic w/ diversity.
***
06/10/14
spring loaded 7A+,7B
flatirons

fun tension moves to dynamic toss. read: I DID A DYNO, FOOLS!!!!11 [whilst celo flash-lapped it]
**
06/10/07
hume problem [stand]
hevans

finally. st: separate thin crimps at ~4.5ft. sit is retarded.
**
06/10/07
faith in chaos
Mt. Evans
FA
eliott's talus cave arete. good movement. bad landing dab potential = rmnp line? maybe 8.
**
06/10/01
seth's line [trav]
vedauwoo
FA
crowd trav into seth's line
**
06/09/30
gandolf 7A,7B
Poudre Canyon

classic highball. ben6/felt8
***
06/09/23
scrawny
Joe's Valley

contrived traverse [skips some higher finger jugs] w/ surprisingly tense and fun moves.
**
06/09/10
the fang [rufus? original version]
evergreen / stagecoach
Hard
contived compared to direct finish, but adds some pump and funk. third area for the day.
**
06/08/27
born defeated [sds] / zoller bulge [sds]
flatirons - bulge boulder

start on powerful hollow flake, bust to off-positioned jug, tension, then continue. heard: sds FA.
***
06/08/26
cobble project [sds]
flagstaff - pebble wall

tic tac attacticks. bit contrived, bit of a horrorshow topout, but pleasurable.
***
06/08/20
diamonds on the soles of your shoes / decaria's pr
allenspark / pierson / lower big three

sitstarting25ftproblems4lyfe. salo's idea. solidified v7 grade due to pump for upper crux.
***
06/08/20
problem #7 - neuticles
allenspark / pierson / lower big three/sidecar
FA
st: undercling crimps, cross big to poor sloping hold, swing out to RH jug..up from there as for prob8
**
06/08/19
sea of the beast [pure dyno var.]
swissco

pure dyno from low foot chip. harder than six for me, but maybe 6+. doesn't really matter. the only thing that matters is artifically boosting my v7 list. STOCKIN UP LIKE Y2K, CLOWNS!!!!
***
06/08/19
wild and wooley / wild and wolley
swissco

v? maybe easier but felt hard to all involved on this day. bit contrived, but good stone and features.
**
06/08/13
red sky
crested butte / skyland

better and more difficult than it looks.
***
06/08/12
atomic / tick fever
crested butte / skyland
Second GO
bachelor outing drunkard session: NO SLEEP FOR YOU! sent before 5am; whole boulder before dawn. botched start on warm up burn, then first go.
***
06/08/06
ted's hole [center var.]
castlewood - ted's cave

st: deep in center, big move to sloping pod, crazy no-dab tension w/ bicycles + toe hooks, finish ted's hole trav., proper.
**
06/08/06
after berthoud?
castlewood - berthoud cave

finally! burly tension for me. mosdef harder than v6. almost sent marquess trav. before evil rain/lightning storm epic.
***
06/08/05
golden ice [proper]
RMNP

brilliant line. crazy crimp tension crux w/ highstep.

06/07/31
little devil
castlewood - font slabs behind 'the slab'
Hard
one move wonder. evil thin L. gaston crimp and R. fingernail sidepull crimp, establish, thrutch for sloping lip.
*
06/07/29
goodman's / pat's arete [right var.][sds]
Mt. Evans

good mental focus prob.
***
06/07/29
snow white [after break]
hevans

the incut on pink/snow broke to become a flat sloping jug. does not change either climb much at all. spotter touch.
**
06/07/22
colt 45 [after break?]
RMNP / left of stars+stripes

repeat. heard broke. foot? seemed about the same skipping missing? left foot.
*
06/07/22
chad's crack /old chub [not chad's name]
RMNP / left of riddles

fun/worth doing. maybe 5/6ish for me?
*
06/07/16
rawhide
Mt. Evans
FA
wicked. start on all dogs, turn the lip after the jug w/ a difficult mantle, then a very thin, scary slab. i cleaned the slab. FA confirmed.
***
06/07/15
waiting room
RMNP / chaos

somewhat committing and fun.
**
06/07/15
the barndoor problem
RMNP / emerald - innersanctum cove

funky sloping corner w/ insane tension. thanks dewell.
**
06/07/11
fang direct
evergreen/stagecoach / horn/fang boulder

many tries. oppositional sds>direct exit. props to rufus.
***
06/06/22
R>L redwall traverse
Flagstaff / redwall

good moves. told7. i just don't know anymore.
**
06/06/22
traverse into varney
Flagstaff / redwall

good powerful moves. vnoidea.
**
06/06/20
giving berthoud [sloper extension var.]
castlewood / berthoud cave

kinda cool tension roof v?
*
06/05/22
first overhang [sds][after break]
Flagstaff

sds adds nothing. stand is 7.
**
06/05/21
the other kind travers
RMNP
Second GO
trav R>L into the kind. fun.
**
06/05/21
belcer's roof [sds]
rmnp -facing kind, middle roof
Second GO
worthy. crack>roof>face exit R
***
06/05/20
dark horse 7A+,7B,7B+
g-pass

one of the best in the front
***
06/05/17
hobble cobble [lowest sds]
castlewood

hot weakday session.
**
06/05/13
chiller / chill style [left]
elevenmile

great till funky left exit. r?
***
06/05/10
undercling overhang [sds]
castlewood-morning sun bldr

kinda cool. tense slab exit.
**
06/05/06
crazy cody 7A+,7B
Poudre Canyon

amazingly cut arete
***
06/05/06
jousting lefter [trav.]
Poudre Canyon

sds:jousting>trav crimpsL>exit
**
06/04/30
they call him jordan [var.] / they call him spud
Joe's Valley

brilliant static method.
***
06/04/30
save yourself [left var.]
Joe's Valley

very spooky top out.
***
06/04/29
external tulips
Joe's Valley

sharp and insecure at lip
**
06/04/23
the main line
Poudre Canyon

fierce+balancy. hard:looksEZ!
**
06/04/23
left of main line [sds]
Poudre Canyon

fierce and awkward
**
06/04/23
wrath into sport [extension]
Poudre Canyon
FA
heady line. old man made me.
***
06/04/22
rasta font trainer 7A+,7B
Poudre Canyon

temp. dependent sloper lock
*
06/04/19
trash incinerator
castlewood ranch - the cave
FA
great moves. so dirty+chossy
**
06/04/18
fierce little face
castlewood - dehind the slab
Hard
thin crimps w/evil false lip8?
**
06/04/16
chugging syrup
penitente
FA
great stone. devious moves.
**
06/04/16
lola
penitente

l>r trav. into prod's pockets
**
06/04/15
forever and sunsmell
penitente

burly gaston/highsteppa
**
06/04/11
mighty mite prow
castlewood - dehind the slab

very steep+tense. tiny.
**
06/04/09
shadow of death
Joe's Valley
Soft
but pumpy. flash w/rehearsedTO
**
06/04/09
golden plates
Joe's Valley
Hard
insane beta + techniques
***
06/04/09
anatomy act
Joe's Valley

tense arete. blitzed it w/beta
***
06/04/08
boux problem [sds]
Joe's Valley

the stand is classic. sds? eh.
**
06/04/08
stompin hippies
Joe's Valley

ok sds w/ eliott no-dab beta.
**
06/04/03
scrappy little arete [sds]
castlewood- near the slab

tense through the thin. vee?
**
06/03/25
marquess arete
ute pass - ant can/pipe

quite fun tension prob.
***
06/03/18
burning spear
socorro - box

burly tension. zilla killed me
***
06/03/12
tombstone /aka/ pocket pussy
castlewood -new corp playgroud

tweaker, but good. straight uphill from 3rd wooden bridge on inner canyon trail... after trailside overhang and before stream boulders or berthoud cave
***
06/03/05
so wrong 7B,7B+
Flagstaff

TALL. wickedTJbeta:sketch heel
***
06/03/05
gleteus maximus
Flagstaff

fierce turd. offroute knee.
*
06/03/04
scuba steve 6C,6C+,7A,7A+,7B
Poudre Canyon

dynamic slap from undrclng v?
**
06/02/25
want egg [sds, direct exit]
eldorado-rincon
FA
exit up slab. tick tack tech.
**
06/02/19
hebro sausage [right]
Hueco Tanks
Second GO
move into LH pinch,then up+L
**
06/02/18
roughage 6C+,7A+,7B,7B+
Hueco Tanks

world-class and proud
***
06/02/17
nurse rachet
Hueco Tanks
Second GO
powerful crimping.
**
06/02/17
Stegasaur 7A,7A+,7B,7B+,7C
Hueco Tanks
Second GO
great feature, great cheat
**
06/02/17
chris' arete
Hueco Tanks
Soft
certainly worth doing
**
06/02/12
whale boulder right [lunge]
red feather lakes -whale bldr

soo hard for me, ben.
**
06/02/12
bueno bueno roof
red feather lakes-whale bldr
FA
burly crimping. lame cheatfoot
**
06/01/15
electric fight
castlewood
FA
one fierce move
**
06/01/02
electric lunge
castlewood-ElecKite5ftLofarete

for me. FINALLY. ezr if tall?
**
05/12/31
scary monsters left
castlewood
Hard
FINALLY! crisp. good moves v8?
***
05/12/26
distance overhang [sds]
castlewood - font

mabe ezr, but tweaky for me
**
05/12/11
monkey shot
castlewood

static. alone and scared at TO
**
05/11/27
when i learned to grovel 6C,7B,7B+
ibex
Second GO
power/tension mini roof. fun.
**
05/11/26
kangaroo meat
ibex - topus
Second GO
fun mini roof to tall ez arete
**
05/11/25
blue flowers 7A+,7B,7B+
ibex

favorite on boulder
***
05/11/25
white arete 7A+,7B,7B+,7C
ibex
Second GO
area classic
***
05/11/25
thing one 7B,7B+
ibex

evil intermediates helped me
***
05/11/24
eric's v9
moab / big bend

sds>okcrimps. correct prob?
**
05/11/24
gill start arete [blocktop]
moab / big bend

fierce. inscribed: 'legalese'
**
05/11/24
left hand of darkness
moab / big bend

wierd.
**
05/11/20
sloper problem [low] [elim]
garden of the gods / snake pit

st:match crimp>slopr>pinches
***
05/11/19
main hang
sacred cliffs / green mountain

celoface kung fu
**
05/11/19
socrates overhang [r. sds]
sacred cliffs / green mountain

burly. st:10ft R.on edge,match
***
05/11/13
rock table blunt arete [sds]
ute pass - upper ant can/pipe

sharp crystals, great moves
**
05/11/13
ship's prow [lower stand]
ute pass - ship's prow

proper top out. blew brknSDSX2
***
05/11/06
burning bush
vedauwoo - central

fierce midgit tensionfest
*
05/11/05
holy helke
needle peak

unique moves. powerful lowball
**
05/10/29
left of herbacious...
ute pass - crack in the woods

desperate nipples top out
**
05/10/29
right of cool cuts [sds]
ute pass - ships prow area

burly sds> aesthetic tall face
***
05/10/29
powerchoss traverse
ute pass - ships prow area
Second GO
great moves/powercross. v6?
***
05/10/29
diagonal tension prob [sds]
ute pass - reservation area
FA
? R to L. pumpy and techy
**
05/10/29
brickerhoff cave
ute pass - reservation area
Hard
hueco-like crimps>fun top. v8?
***
05/10/15
driven to distraction
rmnp - lonestar
FA
?crimpy fun traverse R>L V7+?
***
05/10/08
hasta en fuego
Poudre Canyon
FA
tension lock off
***
05/10/08
tsunami
poudre -420s

TENSION!!pinch will break
**
05/10/02
barbed wire 6B+,7A,7B
vedauwoo

classic/scary/2moves!? hard4me
***
05/10/01
good vibrations 7B,7B+
vedauwoo

very fun choss roof v?
**
05/10/01
good vibrations [extension #1]
vedauwoo

st: at tree.
**
05/09/25
p-diddy
allenspark - bunce school rd

pretty cool blunt arete
***
05/09/18
tree jack [sds]
allenspark - bunce school rd.

tall crimpfest w/BL. ez w/ape.
**
05/09/14
scary monsters traverse
castlewood

frigid dawn patrol=no snakes
***
05/09/11
banshee
black hills - old baldy
Second GO
great holds! dirtburgler
***
05/09/11
ghost town litigant
black hills - old baldy

horizontal groveling
**
05/09/11
sky pager
black hills - old baldy

delicate sloper BURLFEST!
***
05/09/10
modus chode
black hills - sylvan

reach issues.
**
05/09/10
midget molester
black hills - sylvan

burly problem
***
05/09/10
dave the evangilist
black hills - iron mtn.

vicious footwork.
**
05/08/14
the kind [sds]
RMNP

sds:bit right. adds drain 6+?
**
05/07/21
the distance
castlewood
Trav
hard after 100deg. high
**
05/07/19
trials and errors 7A+,7B
castlewood

hasset's burly lockoff prob
**
05/07/17
goodman arete [sds]
hevans

pumpfest to spicy tall lockoff
***
05/07/16
tree swing / colt 45
RMNP

L of s&s. dumpy but great fun
**
05/07/14
dine alone [extension]
castlewood

trave to nose direct exit.
**
05/07/06
pocket full of hate
castlewood: font: cliffband

mini roof to 3pckt face
**
05/07/06
bulge direct [sds]
castlewood: font: cliffband

sds on LH football cobble and RH on sharp shallow sloping sidepull thing...tension moves out dirtburgler roof then tension up bulge locking off sloping crimps w/o juggy layback to the right
**
05/06/28
soice in a blender 7A+,7B
castlewood

best buttdrag choss trav. EVAR
*
05/06/24
super mario 7B,7B+
castlewood
Second GO
gruelling top out. V?
*
05/06/23
the nose [right]
castlewood

so much lightning, bit of rain
***
05/06/21
kate winslet [extension]
castlewood

adds crimps + iron cross
**
05/04/17
cookie monster arete [elim.]
Poudre Canyon

lame fun. bit o tree dab.
*
05/04/07
trailside v7
eldorado-rincon

wicked. stole my fingerprint.
***
05/03/27
flying spoon [var]
morrision

celo's orig. recipie=bit hardr
***
05/03/12
napster
yg
FA
looks cake. is not. v?
**
05/03/12
greatest story ever told [low]
yg

looks cake. is not. v?
**
05/03/05
the hermitage
boulder canyon
Trav, FA
they're up there...lurking
**
05/02/27
flashed flood
clear creek-sonic youth

top out at apex
***
05/02/27
high waters
clear creek-sonic youth

full bag of tricks
**
05/02/26
belladonna
big elk meadows

not worth search
*
05/02/19
mavericks traverse
clear creek canyon

no spotter=crappants
**
05/02/12
red mosquito
st.vrain-elysium

thin + got thinner
*
05/02/12
red mosquito [var]
st.vrain-elysium

straight up finish
*
05/02/10
angry man [var]
estes-lumpy ridge

sds right, fin. left
**
05/02/09
mrs. clairol
morrison

no sticky residue
*
05/02/09
dirty rev. tendo
morrison

no var. left undone
*
05/02/07
smurf st.+rev.tendo
morrison

cure for comm cold?
**
05/02/05
ooze pig
Flagstaff

burly lockoff elim.
*
05/01/15
staticrightelim.prow
horsetooth res.

will static'd moon
**
05/01/09
giving berthoud[var]
crumblewood

fun. whatever.
*
05/01/08
kahuna [right exit]
carter lake

insane wind. *s
**
05/01/08
dirty jordan
morrison

low ledge sds. beer.
**
05/01/08
static jordan
morrison

heel+locktensionfest
**
05/01/01
sgt. woody
carter lake

rockytop finish
*
04/12/12
cephalic index
Clear Creek Canyon

i felt so weak today
**
04/12/01
marcelo's madness
millennium

blood drops froze
**
04/11/22
trailside overhang
eldorado-east draw

worthy distraction
**
04/11/15
calmer than you dude
st.vrain-dead man's

FA fussy fun bitch
**
04/11/15
swervedriver
st.vrain-dead man's

FA L sds > f.t.d.
**
04/11/13
silent storm
millennium

FA:thndrhd L. finish
**
04/11/08
may cause blindness
st.vrain-dead man's

FA burly underclings
**
04/11/04
thunderhead
millenium

FA:link c.d.+p.c.
***
04/11/01
death by drowning 7A+,7B
morrison

or by freezing
*
04/10/27
angry dragon
boulder can-coney

tricky lowball
**
04/10/24
merlin [sds]
poudre-merlin

adie beta FLOWS
***
04/10/24
angry black man
poudre-black

L.ofBlack/reachissue
**
04/10/20
plush [after break]
flatirons-terrains

now: evil2fingerlock
**
04/10/18
spraypaintsilverback 7A+,7B
ape city

FA tension funk
**
04/10/18
anger beast 7A+,7B
ape city

demoralizingly fussy
*
04/10/18
200lb. gorilla
ape city

wicked pumped
**
04/10/18
hit hard tactics
boulder can-castle

FA? awkward crimping
*
04/10/17
process of belief
eldorado-rincon

vicious deadpoints
**
04/10/13
bongo traverse
fern canyon/bongo

wetjug/p.ivy in face
***
04/10/11
vibrator [lower]
red feather-parvin

cleaned. bit lower
*
04/10/04
simian adventure low
ape city

crimp campus start
*
04/10/02
deathco nation
cloud nine

fierce and friable
**
04/10/02
brand new low
cloud nine

FA. sanctuary arete
*
04/10/02
brand new lower
cloud nine

FA choss sds 7/8
*
04/09/29
one cigarette =murdr
eldorado-rincon

mid.sds. worthhike?
*
04/09/27
the system
morrison south

elim. top of hill
**
04/09/26
locust annihilator
cloud nine

classy direct finish
***
04/09/23
flaming amigo
estes/lumpy

flaming fingers v8?
**
04/09/23
sloperglomcrimp prob
estes/lumpy

r. of jaws downclimb
*
04/09/22
sleeper/sasha's roof
flagstaff-red wall

burly choss v8?
*
04/09/20
sap [stand]
estes/lumpy

st: roof match
**
04/09/14
shelf block right
flatirons--bear can.

sharp! r. of tears
*
04/09/13
gunslinger
ape city

lil heady and fun
**
04/09/13
see no evil [cheat]
ape city

mid. rail+exit right
**
04/09/11
zorro arete
hevans

right of zorro
*
04/09/11
random progression
hevans

jump start slopers
**
04/09/10
wicked sloper prob.
morrison south

very cool. in alcove
**
04/09/01
may cause blindness
st.vrain-dead man's

04/08/30
freedom [var]
boulder canyon-falls

st w/toehook on lip
**
04/08/25
hyperion probiscus
lions den

my knee held out ok
**
04/08/25
egg roof
lions den

evil texture
**
04/07/26
helicopter direct 7A+,7B
morrison

elim.
*
04/07/08
cloudshadow trav low
Flagstaff

elim. vexingdihedral
*
04/07/06
that way madnesslies
vedawoo

oppositional Aframe
***
04/06/28
full wisdom sim.
morrison

drainmaster
**
04/06/20
upper fatlady
RMNP

poor consolation
*
04/06/20
short arete near s+s
RMNP

justpasts+s,slappy
*
04/06/16
jaded 7A,7B
conifer cave

also long + steep
**
04/06/12
the dali 6C,7A+,7B,7B+,7C
Mt. Evans

classic. original start: LH horizontal crimp; RH lowest gaston
***
04/06/02
trailside bulge[sds]
arch rocks

thinUndrcln>crmp>jug
***
04/06/01
30th birthday roof 7A,7B
Flagstaff

short guy trickery
**
04/06/01
30th birthday trav.
Flagstaff

unique rest
*
04/05/30
the offering
black hills

sealion mating dance
*
04/05/26
capps face[mid.line]
boulder can./graham

thin/easier if tall?
**
04/05/23
UK hockey night 7A+,7B
camp dick

solid. terror top
***
04/05/23
hold your fire
camp dick

tricky/R.ofUK,sameTO
***
04/05/21
curmudgeon
flagstaff-alcove

CG line/non-elim var
**
04/05/12
realkungfumassacreSD
Niagara glen

sdsFA? worthy!
***
04/04/19
southern bulge dirct
flagstaff-frnt ofRed

miserable sds/burly!
*
04/04/17
unknown dyno sds
poudre-wave wall

sds. dyno->sloper
**
04/04/17
unknown crimp face
poudre-wave wall

SharpCrimpsAboveRock
**
04/04/14
left bulge direct 7A+,7B
Flagstaff

elim. all r.of crack
**
04/04/04
bob's bulge
Flagstaff

burlier than j.right
**
04/03/28
balanceinnature[sds]
flatirons

adds barndoor move
**
04/03/25
hobo cave traverse 7B,7B+
Flagstaff

great techy moves
**
04/03/25
left hobo [sds]
Flagstaff

really cool, dirty
***
04/03/25
right hobo [sds]
Flagstaff

sdsFA, funkygood
***
04/03/15
apparition
black hills

sdsFA, chip's vision
*
04/02/22
New Religion 6c+,7a,7a+,7b,7b+,7c,7c+6c+,7a,7a+,7b,7b+,7c,7c+
Hueco Tanks

bigmoves,biggerholds
***
04/02/21
winking jesus 7A+,7B,7B+
Hueco Tanks

big spans, stiff
**
04/02/17
oxman arete [stand]
flagstaff-capstan

big dp-gstnORpkt v8?
***
04/02/15
north face traverse
flag-bksd of m.cosmo

v9 w/o hip scuff?
*
04/02/08
obscure overhang
flagstaff-nr.mky.trv

shocktherapyforback
**
04/01/17
the cheat 7A,7B
Black Hills

steep haul,backslap!
**
04/01/17
polywogs
Black Hills

crimpy bulge w/ toss
*
04/01/17
righthand isosceles
Black Hills

reachy vert. face
**
04/01/11
cryptic magician 7A+,7B
Flagstaff

funky bulge, v?
**
03/12/29
little tree 7A,7A+,7B
Niagara glen

great. not v9,not v6
***
03/12/29
mighty mitges 7A+,7B
Niagara glen

good find. clean
***
03/12/29
under direct rule 7A+,7B
Niagara glen

powerful lockoff
**
03/12/19
anti-hero
Niagara glen

campus crimps
*
03/12/19
the stand [sds]
Niagara glen

thin w/big deadpoint
***
03/12/19
chameleon...
Niagara glen

r.of stand, not v9

03/12/19
stand [left]
Niagara glen

fairly independent
*
03/12/04
chubby bunny 7A+,7B
freight train

clutch.
***
03/12/01
mongolian cosmonaut 7B,7B+,7C+
Flagstaff

st: sloper+pod, v8?
**
03/11/28
get down on it 7A+,7B
triassic

power deadpoint
***
03/11/28
gime 7A+,7B
triassic

rehearsedTO flash
*
03/11/25
cave route[left sds]
castlewood-font

lockoffs +funky toss
***
03/11/12
halley's comet
flatirons-upper sats

practice for r.scale
*
03/11/09
gill problem
arthurs-downhillofCB

sharp pinchs,dirtyTO
*
03/10/30
leaning pressure
morrison--wisdom

oppstnlslpr,areasoft
**
03/10/24
tiger woods 7A+,7B,7B+
castlewood

slopersmack+bicycle
**
03/10/24
berthod hips
castlewood

burly! hook and tug
**
03/10/18
snizzle sticks
rmnp--KB boulder

balancy off the dirt
*
03/10/16
chucky cheese
Clear Creek Canyon

big crimpy deadpoint
**
03/10/12
seul avec dieu
black hills-oldbaldy

betastreamteameffort
***
03/10/11
the scab
black hills-thimble

gill's cheese grater
*
03/09/20
sun up to sun down
vedawoo--dungeon

tall + oppositional
***
03/09/10
hobble cobble 7A+,7B
castlewood

nuckingofuts funkyTO
***
03/09/10
punani 7A+,7B,7B+,7C
castlewood

ultraclassicanywhere
***
03/08/19
splatt
castlewood!!!

ugly rock, goodmoves
**
03/08/13
potato chip 7A+,7B,7C
RMNP / Chaos Canyon

headgames, told7
**
03/07/31
nogoko 7A+,7B
Niagara glen

committing lockoffs
**
03/07/31
shadow boxing [var.]
Niagara glen

cheater variationV8?
**
03/07/26
frisco buttress
roadside frisco

easy after59bad seq.
**
03/07/20
the rose
vedavoo-coyote?

survival climbing
***
03/07/20
unknown sds. face
snowy mtn bldr

hard dp start
**
03/07/11
r.of gobot, low st.
RMNP / Chaos Canyon

adds to the pump
**
03/07/09
burning mud
three sisters

powerroof,reachy 8?
**
03/07/05
unknownmidgitlowball
poudre-shootingrange

7ft of sds crimpage
*
03/07/04
perch 7A,7A+,7B
Poudre Canyon

v6? nope.
***
03/07/04
crusher 7A,7A+,7B,7B+
Poudre Canyon

v5? kiss my ass
***
03/07/04
scarface 7A,7A+,7B
Poudre Canyon

v6?...more hostility
***
03/07/01
disembowler
Clear Creek Canyon

subtlepowerroof
**
03/06/29
the tilt 7B,7B+
Poudre Canyon

power cross, likely8
***
03/06/29
ontrailbtw tilt/main
Poudre Canyon

aretesds-funkymantle
**
03/06/23
mr. whimpy 7A+,7B
RMNP

fun power reaches
***
03/06/23
unknown roof crack
RMNP

faces kind, grade?
***
03/06/21
mr. clean
camp dick

great toe hook
***
03/06/21
schwagg 7A+,7B
camp dick

sharp power, solid
**
03/06/21
ballin the jack-trav
camp dick

orig line= great
***
03/06/21
middleareaunknown
camp dick

r.face, crimp line
**
03/06/14
the horror
elysium

FA, grade?
**
03/06/14
big wednesday trav.
elysium

FA, orig prob=better
**
03/06/07
right finger sds
Flagstaff

powercross, grade?
**
03/06/07
pocket roof sds
flagstaff-candelarea

aftercratering, grd?
**
03/05/31
red wall direct 7A+,7B
Flagstaff

precision deadpoint
**
03/05/31
arrowhead?
ute pass

greatHBarete,grade?
**
03/05/28
tall man shut down 7A,7B
Flagstaff

historical elim.
**
03/05/26
first overhang 6C,6C+,7A,7A+,7B
Flagstaff

after breaking,solid
***
03/05/26
masochism tango
Flagstaff

i heard 7, not bad
**
03/05/20
mangler jr.
Niagara glen

beta rich
*
03/05/20
gulag 7A,7A+,7B
Niagara glen

strong pulling
**
03/05/20
roughneck 7A+,7B
Niagara glen

too much seepage
*
03/05/19
royale w/ cheese
Niagara glen

v7/8, funky power
***
03/05/19
girlsofcheep-t-vegas
Niagara glen

devious runt
*
03/05/19
life o'rielly
Niagara glen

solid at 7
***
03/05/03
miserlou
elysium

FA, grade?
***
03/04/28
deseret sds
millenium

solid
**
03/04/12
betadine solution
big elk

FAdirty and powerful
**
03/03/09
unknown (r.ofbigboy)
joe's--area51

cool but contrived
*
03/03/09
phoney baloney trav.
joe's--area51

enduro, mid version
***
03/03/08
unknown traverse
joe's--mansize

uphill from s&b

03/03/02
babyface 6C,7A+,7B,7B+,7C
Hueco Tanks

aesthetic, favorite
***
03/03/01
left el murray (sds)
Hueco Tanks

thin tension
***
03/03/01
my tan 7A+,7B
Hueco Tanks

no deathchoss topout
**
03/03/01
gloria 7A,7A+,7B,7B+,7C
Hueco Tanks

fun crux, too short
*
03/03/01
no wonder 7A+,7B
Hueco Tanks

deceptively tricky
**
03/02/28
Daily Dick Dose 6B+,7A+,7B
Hueco Tanks

fun dropknee
**
03/02/28
Center El Murray sds
Hueco Tanks

good addition
***
03/02/22
first overhang sds 6C+,7B
Flagstaff

sds+trav to classic
**
03/02/22
alcove dyno 7A+,7B
Flagstaff

fun powerstep grade?
***
03/02/17
cannibal dance
millenium block

standstart, felt v8!
**
03/01/26
last resort 7A+,7B
arthurs rock

sds,roof,face TO
***
03/01/19
godzilla
arthurs rock

low crux,tall fun TO
***
02/12/07
daysofwhiningposers
Carter Lake

tall thin reachy
**
02/12/05
41st street 7A+,7B,7B+
Clear Creek Canyon

tricky, v7/8, solo
***
02/11/30
runt
Joe's Valley

awkwardness king
*
02/11/29
big joe
Joe's Valley

tweakytwofingermove
*
02/11/09
dragon fire
big elk

reach! bit crumbly
*
02/10/25
unknown sds. roof
rmnp--suzuki area

bdlr.nxt.to.suzuki
**
02/10/01
tommy's arete
chaos canyon/RMNP

wickedfun commitment
***
02/10/01
germfreeadolescence
eldorado

left direct, solo
**
02/10/01
doctor slutpants
flatirons--ghetto

7/8 areaclassic solo
***
02/10/01
spam
Joe's Valley

delicate heelhook TO
***
02/10/01
big boy
Joe's Valley

apehanger,oldguideV8
***
02/10/01
portabella n'porcini
Joe's Valley

fun but inconsistent
*
02/09/01
gnarley tree
sacred cliffs

short and sharp
*
02/09/01
last overhang 7A+,7B
Flagstaff

FA, may break
***
02/09/01
girlfriend'sbackside
flatirons-satellites

one move, fun
*
02/07/01
star wars
gross res./damnation

quality prob, grade?
***
02/07/01
spaceman spiff
flatirons-satellites

FA, short + intense
*
02/06/01
plush
flatirons-terrains

short, will break
*
02/05/01
dr. mindbender
flatirons-satellites

FA, HB
*
02/04/01
tiki tiki man
gross res./damnation

3rd try
**
02/03/01
just right 7A,7A+,7B,7C
Flagstaff

classic
***
02/03/01
king conquerer trav
Flagstaff

pain and more pain

Jaegerclones

2008-12-04T21:20:00.000-08:00

Although Jaegerclones have been cloned to do many things, they are all cloned to be very aggressive and intense. Due to their extreme behavior, it is well understood that a climbing session has not finished until blood is drawn, every single time. Even when they are not climbing they are still prone to bleed. Here is a photo of what happened when a Jaegerclone tried to clean out its ear with a Q-tip.

JJaeger vs. Jens / Sockhands <3 PRob

2008-12-04T10:23:00.000-08:00

Lest you think sockhands' insanity is limited to his scorecard, observe these gems from climbingnarc's site:

sock hands says:
December 3rd, 2008 at 12:52 pm

funny that jens never gives me a hard time about the 1,000 variations i log for each and every climb i do.

fools might think that this is because i never send anything of importance or merit, but the wise know that it is because jens FEARS MY UTTER AND COMPLETE DOMINATION OF THE INTERWEBNET! no on dare oppose my powers, expecially the swedes!

now i must flex and remind little jens that only one person can berate and publically mock paul robinson on the intardweb and it is ME.

next, i’d like to point out how much paul looks like the kid who plays edmound in the chronikalz of gnarnia movies… especially the new one that just came out on netflix… since everyone knows that bouldering anything over v9 is only for total and complete dooshbags, perhaps paul can give up on climbing, kidnap that actor kid, and replace him for the next movie?

sock hands says:
December 4th, 2008 at 10:44 am

please note that anyone who posts to a climbing forum on the internet is off topic… topic being: work; life; responsibility.

some of us just fall deeper into the fantasy land.

FRITTERS, BITCH! FRITTERING YOUR BILLABLE HOURS AWAY CAN BE OH SO SWEET AND TASTY!

sock hands says:
December 4th, 2008 at 10:45 am

@ narc. i was confused too. and above, i may be again.

8A Comments (again)

2008-12-04T10:09:00.000-08:00

"blood drops froze"

"no spotter=crappants"

"elim. vexingdihedral"

"justpasts+s,slappy"

"holy super neato weeeeeeeeeeee"

"midnight sneakerpimping whilst drinking beers with a man in a sasquach suit"

"before getting tagged. mooned jetboat tourists after send. they cheered."

"workR.>slopy sidepul"

"blank top horror"

"st: tt> r. >horn 5/6"

"locals=BIGrattler + wasp swarm"

"cool>evil crys.pinchn tall top"

"fool: my ownership of this is obvious. advanced mantle tech., but easier than center."

"str8up frm mid. crowd trav.v6?"

"big dp-gstnORpkt v8?"

More Email...

2008-12-03T16:01:00.000-08:00

8:11 AM
while i do not support the conclusion amy has made regarding the appletini - beer death match, i will suggest this: try the appletinis with a little caramel sauce lightly mixed in. damn fine candy drink but more than one will give a sugar stomachache. the caramel sauce is located in the icecream topping isle.

live that.

i feel comfortable disseminating this information because beer prices keep rising and i'd like to lessen the demand so that i can get 22oz bottles of arrogant bastard down to $0.50 somehow

8:12 AM
maybe if you used the bubble pinch on the steep wall on a boulder problem you would have sent the worm turns as you had guaranteed you would.... then, you could have been in front of the camera as well as behind it!

8:14 AM
last i heard from emerson's txt updates, you were "close". this was, like, three days into your trip. maybe if you didn't lose your backbone by deleting your scorecard [ha!], i would have known this.

we live in the information age. suck it up.

!

8:27 AM
plz send me your joe's valley tick list and all other problems you have done in the last two months.

or die.

11:44 AM
weak. ho am i supposed to keep tabs on friends, then?

you all suck.

no one even sends me trip or session updates.

yet again i am forced into the grim realization that i should not take stock in the success of my friends ever again, as they do not even provide the necessary TPS reports.

you all suck!

12:08 PM
in all likelihood it will be a short session with warming up not allowed. you are most certainly welcome to join, but i'm providing notice as to the neurotic nature of the session so that you are not later bummed that you did not chose a longer, less frantic session.

word up.

4:25 PM
where is this knocking room located?

is it about 50 yards across from scary monsters?

i thought it was v9? are you too sikk for v9?

i also heard long ago that it was v11. super sikk?

4:40 PM
who flashed it?

4:45 PM
so you think i can send it?

4:48 PM
cause that's what it all comes down to: can I do it.

nothing else matters.

you know this.

More to come . . .

Clones Caugh on Film!

2008-12-03T15:46:00.000-08:00

In this rare photo we see several Jeagerclones at work in their basement lair. It would seem these particular Jaegerclones have been tasked with either managing the numerous Jaegerblogs or monitoring every forum-based website known to mankind. While these three represent but a fraction of the total Jaegerclone population, little is know at this time about the activities of the others.

More to come . . .

Emails

2008-12-03T15:40:00.000-08:00

Ever 10 seconds I receive an email from sockface. Being a normal and sane person, I find it nearly impossible to sift through all of the lawyer speak/insanity/obsessive over-analytical language/"jokes". However, when seen as a tool of mockerey, Baron von Insaneface has provided us with a lifetime of laughter. Let's have a look at today's example:

"hello mc and jamie: the butter: you are both super awesome doods !!! your videos make my office life worth living. xoxo. the demand: mike, i have heard that jamie has footage of a super ill v8/9 at joe's valley climbed by rylan marshall. i require this to show up on mvm. if your arrangement with jamie is to pay for such videos, then i suggest that you do so pay him so you can run this video online. the threat: OR ELSE I WILL BRING DOWN YOUR EVIL INTARDWEB EMPIRE WITH SNEAK ATTACTICKS. best regards, straight to your facesvery truly yoursand so on and so forth, -- the shining light of truth and justice"

Also we see evindence that JJ does indeed have a clone army with his reference to "empires" and "sneak attacticks".

More to come...

Thats Impossible!!!!!!!!!!11111111

2008-12-01T19:24:00.000-08:00

Is it possible that one man could have the time to be married, run a kennel, be a full time lawyer, operate 2 websites, register, login and post on 6000 more, simultaneously be autistic and rabid, and climb 1600 boulder problems? Obviously not. You may ask how does he do it?

JAEGERCLONES!!!!!!111111111

more to come...

Also added links to two sites dealing with Autism. Enjoy.

8A comments (continued)

2008-12-01T15:46:00.000-08:00

"IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE? the clear creek roof for kids who don't climb roofs good has to be at least two or three times as big !!! personal revelation in beta supremecy after two frigid night sessions alone with the ghosts. could be a hard niner. all your betas are belong to SUCK. three stars for movement, negative one for stature. then, happy birfday to fiona and paradise crew and rj2 crew played w/ air hogs storm launcher. werd!"

"evilantattack. < V11"

"hardr/coolrTO;90%dry"

"inadvertant invalid higher start from LH ball, RH crimp immediately underneath. a few others started here, as well. my anger has finally faded to embarassment. the original line and simply the easiest way to pull on = considered legimimate, irrespective of jaeger rules! very fun original arete exit, though had "spike" iduced pump tremors and almost blew it. warning label does not say: causes you to suck intensely and jitter w/ parkinson's at climbing tall top outs. low start will bump the stars up fo sho."

"st:dihdrl>'v8'crux>steep arete"

"snowshoe approach. deepest hueco start. clean swing. some holds were iced and unusable, so fully dry grade is unknown though likely the same. NOTE: i'm, like, at least 62% more hardcore than the average american male, ages 18-35, in the western portion of parker, colorado. TREMBLE AT MY CORENESS!!!!11111"

still more to come...

Episode II

2008-12-01T13:57:00.000-08:00

There is unrest on 8a.nu.
Several thousand members
have declared their intentions
to disregard dabs and start problems
from any holds they deem acceptable.

This separatist movement,
under the leadership of the
mysterious Baron von Chosscrush,
has made it difficult for the limited
number of Jedi Knights to
maintain ethics and accountability
in the galaxy.

Senator Jemerson, the former
King of B3, is returning to 8a
to vote on the critical issue
of creating an ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC
to assist the overwhelmed
Jedi....

8A comments

2008-12-01T11:08:00.000-08:00

The following comments are taken off of Jaeger's 8A scorecard. Enjoy.

"OTntrdsnCypparCsAtoN"

"? sds to 'buddy swolesack': start on two decent holds in the cave's seam sitting... not the highest seam holds, not the lowest... after touching em all, these two seemed like the most obvious start for the sit rather than getting retarded dab positioning to pull from the lower set. excavated much moss and dirt from a key hold in the upper seam that had clearly never been touched with brush or hand before... seemed like any ascent prior to mine would have used some ill/hard pulling in the absence of this hold, but let me know if you did do it first. v? better temps and less than 1.5 hours of constant efforts w/ bad beta may make it easier? note: in wetter months, this sds becomes a shallow swamp."

"it's been churning in my mind for six years. great rock climb; very satisfied. sooo close to sharma's lunge... seeping wounds = sunday shower of DOOM"

"st:2fing+mono/t.o.scaryslab v?

"travIN>UtrnOUT>HoboR"

"trav.IN>Utrn>full L."

"COLDthintall-i cried"

"PREEMPTIVE STRIKE: KISS MY ASS JEMERSON! contrived start of 'official' line is shortie killer. started on the obvious pinch jug w/ RH and LH lower. extremely fun and worthy from pinch start w/o any height dependent moves that i believe is a much more obvious beginning of this problem and a start that many folks can enjoy without the retardation of the "official" start. in project righteous indignation, cheating produces no guilt."

"about 60 yards diagonally right of the parking for what i think was the finch lake trail. might be v7ish or 6ish.. my radar is off. pit stop while playing sightseeing guide for mom. was dry on the overhung face despite 2in of snow... wet jugs to top out. jug sds > huge high foot to stab to dual slot pockets [crux] then diagonally up great incuts. spectacular line, but must be a bit weary of some holds. r.fields line."

"the real start from a low crimp and higher pinch crimp on left facing diagonal rail. start w/ heel hook above right hand and cross over to higher start hold. very unique move, but many will hate, hence the other start. i enjoyed it. YES I EXPLODOMACATED the start hold of SALAD TOSS and robbed myself of the send. phil later did all the crux moves into equitos from the heinous left-over sloper start, but had to drop off equitos due to rain soak above, so, it still goes."

"high 50s in the cave despite 20 even at parking lot! climb starting at left side of berthoud cave, ~6ft back under roof on horizontal jug, use the kneebar to come out of the first roof section, huge hantavirus huecos are off as per samet, climb out center of bathtub w/ big lockoff from good undercling and dynamic fall into another undercling before going up. a reminder: stars given for movement, irrespective of diminutive stature or heinous choss, which are both the case here."

"epic battle for me on wall of dispair. tj, hayden, and chuck pissed all over it, but i could not get to a key gaston and had to deadpoint off of heinous shit. felt as or more difficult than formula 50 to me. maybe i'll call mine an eliminate varition and take 15 points? felt good to finally snag the deadpoint though... totally invested in the move and loving climbing, epitomized."

"about the same difficulty as before and similar moves... techy balance was replaced with thug style... still fun. thanks for the great spots on my dynamic beta for the to [ander, hayden, jt, rich] hayden did a spooky high heel, low hand lockoff that i wanted to do but couldn't articulate the ankle in the brace to do. not sure which would be easier or less scary beta..."

"sds arete L of old guard. very interesting and clutch explosion to lip jug from bunchyballofdoom position. chuckles actually had to try it a few times after flashing old guard sds. great day of inspired efforts. ugly duckling that needs more cleaning. again, great crux move, though."

"first go after three years of obsessing... BEHOLD the power of a great day with good friends. got to see footage of the first half at end of life flash at top out due to pump, dirt, and pine needle surprise."

More to come...

Sockface birth Dramatization

2008-11-29T22:58:00.000-08:00

Life Begins

2008-11-28T00:23:00.000-08:00

At T-minus 1 minute until birth, the bloody, unborn fetus that would become Justin Jaeger was already brimming with fiery impatience. As his mothers birthing canal widened, light filtered into her womb. The time had come and the fetus could stand no more. 9 months he had sat festering in her placenta, which two days ago he had devoured to give himself the strength he needed for the desperate act he was about to commit. A desperate act which would come to symbolize the next 30 years of his life on earth. Pawing and scratching he tore himself from his mothers abdomen. He quickly pushed his head out and took in his first breath. Peering over the top of his square rimmed glasses he looked at the doctor with intensely blue eyes. "Hey buddy" said the little bloody baby, awkwardly shaking the doctor's hand and simultaneously hugging him, leaving the doctor soaked in serum. He then raced out of the room, scraping his ankles to the bone as he stumbled into the door jam, straight out of bedlam and straight into Insanity.